When "I Love You" isn’t enough

It was Cal’s birthday yesterday. For weeks, she campaigned for a rock tumbler.
Instead, I got her hand soap. (a.k.a. the gift of life and the best way to say I love you).

Is it just me, or do household items run out allatthesametime? Take toilet paper. When you don’t have it in one bathroom, is it even a surprise when you shuffle to another bathroom and find nothing there either? We ran out of hand soap over the weekend. In every bathroom, natch.
Did I do anything about it? Not really.

I never, ever say “yes” when my child asks, “Can I tell you something?”

The next sentence usually begins with:

  • I broke…
  • I didn’t know…
  • Is it true…
  • Well, (insert name here) said…

Early Saturday morning, she started the ominous string of words. Trouble was a’comin’, I could feel it.

“I don’t have any hand soap in my bathroom.”

I sighed deeply, then told her to get the body wash from her tub and use it as hand soap. It’s called innovation, folks. 

That’s what she did for three days. Take the body wash out of the tub, wash her hands, put it back, repeat, repeat.
On Monday, she forgot this process and had to leave mid-bath to retrieve her wash. Thank you, Jesus, that she didn’t slip.
On her birthday, I gifted her with hand soap. I gave birth to her and now I’m ensuring she stays alive. Lathers of love, I call it.
By the way, she got the rock tumbler. Since she loves to read, I surprised her with a trip to the bookstore and told her she could pick anything she wanted. Sixty-seven books later, we went home. I wanted to ask her to put sixty-two back, but I figured the extra was her “bonus” for putting up with me, so I stayed silent. Shitness, me and my stupid mouth.

Have you ever gotten a funny/unusual/crazy birthday gift request?
Have you ever been given a funny/unusual/crazy birthday gift?

photo via Pretty Swell Shop @ etsy.com

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