Every Monday, I’m picking from the List of Things to Do, Places to Go, Possible Acts that Help and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I made before The Shopping Project started, and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please, feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list my Monday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”
P.S. This is not a complete archive of all posts. Sometimes, I blog on other days besides Monday. Just sometimes. Those are usually the days I ingest a lot of sugar or drugs. Just kidding. Probably. To see the complete list of posts, please refer to the Archive section in the sidebar.
Monday Dare: Thug Wife
This week: Become a rap educationalist
Monday Dare: Drugs? Yes, please.
This week: Drugs. Take some.
Monday Dare: Ugly People
This week: Trust others less. Trust myself more.
Monday Dare: C.R.E.A.M. aka Cash Rules Everything Around Me
This week: Spend wisely
Monday Dare: That’s mine, motherfucker
This week: Own it
Monday Dare: No sir, I don’t care about my safety
This week: Schedule a car tune-up
Monday Dare: That couch is NOT for sitting.
This week: Get comfortable
Monday Dare: Big Things Poppin’
This week: Think big. Follow through.
Monday Dare: Even at the age of 7, I was an asshole.
This week: More contentment, more of the time
Monday Dare: I’m sorry I stole money from you.
This week: Celebrate. A LOT.
Monday Dare: I see you on that Facebook grind
This week: Put down the goddamn phone
Monday Dare: Happy Shanksgiving
This week: Trust my first instinct
Monday Dare: Harvard, Hoodrat Style
This week: Work the Ivy League (not really) grind
Monday Dare: Cashin’ Out
This week: Spend, spend, spend
Monday Dare: Payback’s a bitch
This week: Speak out
Monday Dare: What level of Hell is this?
This week: Overcome writer’s block
Monday Dare: Hard Knock Life
This week: Take better care of myself
Monday Dare: Time management for idiots
This week: Set realistic daily goals. Learn to manage my time.
Monday Dare: Bitches and Brains
This week: Stop comparing
Monday Dare: Embracing (t)hug life: Part hood. Part good.
This week: Less hood. More good.
SHIT. Another yearlong project? Kill me now.
This week year: Attempt another yearlong project
Monday Dare: Cake time, fuckers
This week: Act like a lady
Monday Dare: It’s always your favorite sins that do you in
This week: Real talk
Monday Dare: To live and die in L.A.
This week: Call a truce with nature
Monday Dare: This is why we can’t have nice things
This week: Stop losing shit
Monday Dare: The Underachiever’s Guide to not setting your home on fire
This week: Learn to cook
Monday Dare: Why is your uterus still empty?
This week: Deal with Baby Bullshit
Monday Dare: Choose your own adventure, dummy
This week: Learn the easy way
Monday Dare: I’m a loser
This week: Stop wasting so much time
Monday Dare: Let’s do this shit
This week: Do it up big
Monday Dare: Whatchu gonna do when they come for you?
This week: Face a fear
Monday Dare: Is it really stealing if it’s free?
This week: Stop embarrassing the shit out of people I know
Monday Dare: Dumb as a sack of rocks
This week: Learn me a skill
Monday Dare: How much do new teeth cost?
This week: Just roll with it
Monday Dare: Rich people ambitions
This week: Get outta here
Monday Dare: Ugh Life
This week: Let go of grudges
Monday Dare: Cha-ching, bitches
This week: Don’t lose my shirt by trying to save some dough
Monday Dare: Thug Passions
This week: Figure it out
Monday Dare: Oops
This week: Stop dressing like a homeless person
Monday Dare: Are you a runner? And not the kind on a treadmill.
This week: Quit quitting
Monday Dare: Are you dating a mofo? An assessment checklist
This week: Dish out dating advice
Monday Dare: Running away? Pack well. Trust me.
This week: Share. Celebrate.
Monday Dare: Toeing the motherfucking line
This week: Be less “awesome” and “wonderful”
Monday Dare: At least I’m not on parole
This week: Stop thinking so much
Monday Dare: Six million ways to die
This week: Get my groove on
Monday Dare: No more Friday knife fights
This week: More real. More nice.
Monday Dare: Mommy, I hope you don’t go to jail.
This week: Cut the cord
Monday Dare: Don’t eat cocaine. Don’t smoke cigarettes.
This week: Quit smoking
Monday Dare: Dragon Water
This week: Stop procrastinating
Monday Dare: Sometimes, I try to act like a ninja.
This week: Just say no
Monday Dare: Lying saves lives.
This week: Tell the truth
Monday Dare: How do you like them apples?
This week: Happiness is not a zero-sum game.
Monday Dare: (T)hug life
This week: Come at me. Let’s hug this shit out.
Monday Dare: 1/10/02
This week: Keep moving forward
Monday Dare: Check yourself before you wreck yourself
This week: Stop. Reverse.
Monday Dare: Are we just friends because of my money?
This week: Win the lottery
Monday Dare: Do not disturb. Busy doing nothing.
This week: Do jack shit
Monday Dare: I’m a rapper. Best believe.
This week: Be happy. Keep it real. Fuck the fuckers.
Monday Dare: I should probably just stop talking
This week: Parenting skills. Get some.
Monday Dare: This one may kill me. Nice knowing you.
This week: Swallow my pride
Monday Dare: Let’s be friends. I pay top dollar.
This week: Friends. A whole group of them
Monday Dare: Yes, you too may use this idea
This week: Read gooder books
Monday Dare: This urge overtakes everyone, yes?
This week: Refrain from thievery
Monday Dare: Harv let me out of my cage
This week: I don’t even know
Monday Dare: Rap star living…for $100
This week: $100
Monday Dare: Hospital gowns are a good look on me
This week: Try to get the fuck out of here. (YES, this is a cry for help. RESCUE ME.)
Monday Dare: Wait? What?
This week: Forgive
Monday Dare: If you can’t spot the sucker…
This week: Don’t lose at poker. Again.
Monday Dare: I offended a granny. Again.
This week: Stop swearing. Again.
Monday Dare: Clearly, I’m a terrible friend
This week: Thank Joe
Monday Dare: I was raised by a pack of wolves
This week: Acquire phone skillz
Monday Dare: It’s almost cake time, y’all.
This week: Don’t be a quitter
Monday Dare: Sir, your hand is on my ass.
This week: Say it
Monday Dare: Uh-oh, you got found out
This week: Fuck the fuckers
Monday Dare: The joys of thug life
This week: Enjoy the small things
Monday Dare: I’m starting a gang.
This week: It’s your turn.
Monday Dare: I’m not in a gang.
This week: Brag
Monday Dare: I got your back, kid.
This week: Try to teach Cal a life lesson without using the word “asshole.”
Monday Dare: Big boobs, big eyes, and quiet
This week: Gather advice for my newly single friends.
Monday Dare: A friendly reminder- You’re going to die.
This week: Learn to swim
Monday Dare: This probably means I’m a genius.
This week: Learn to use the computer
Monday Dare: Practicing the five-letter word
This week: My name is
Earl Elizabeth. (a.k.a. fixin’ the wrong I done to people)
Monday Dare: You’re Invited
This week: Plan a party
Monday Dare: You’re a chicken and other words of encouragement.
This week: Ride some rides
Monday Dare: Who would dig through a dumpster? Me, actually.
This week: Go dumpster diving
Monday Dare: All I need is a nugget of canned cheese.
This week: Believe I can
Monday Dare: I may be going to school with your kids. Be scared.
This week: Learn some shit
Monday Dare: This is why we can’t have nice things.
This week: Try new foods
Monday Dare: I’m on Trader Joe’s Most Wanted List.
This week: I will count to ten before reacting.
(I have to try this Dare again because I’m a loser, and I failed miserably the first time.)
Monday Dare: A series of unfortunate events
This week: Overcome superstitions
Monday Dare: My kidney did not get stolen.
This week: Say hello. Introduce myself. Meet people.
Monday Dare: Ugly Duckling
This week: Take more pictures
Monday Dare: Sha-Nasty Poof Poof
This week: Expand my musical horizons
Monday Dare: I think that stripper really likes me.
This week: Stop giving advice. Just the unsolicited kind. No, wait, all kinds.
Monday Dare: It’s not me, it’s you. No, it’s me.
This week: Seek mutually satisfying friendships
Monday Dare: ‘Merica
This week: Chuckle
Monday Dare: Shark Bait
This week: Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Monday Dare: Crack is Whack
This week: Reflect on sobriety. Celebrate progress.
Monday Dare: Spork-tastic
This week: Take a closer look and follow directions.
Monday Dare: Fake-iversary: part one
This week: Celebrate a love story
Monday Dare: the number you have dialed….
This week: Move on
Monday Dare: shivving the tooth fairy
This week: I will stop tricking my child.
Monday Dare: I hope jail bed are comfortable.
This week: Don’t be passive. Don’t be passive-aggressive. Just be aggressive.
Monday Dare: f.u.c.k.
This week: Form a support group
Monday Dare: Now accepting applications
This week: Expand the family
Monday Dare: Lessons of a temp of a temp of a temp
This week: Think ahead
Monday Dare: Excellence in Wifery
This week: Let bygones be bygones
Monday Dare: Guilt Trips? I run the travel agency.
This week: Learn to forgive myself
Monday Dare: Everyone’s got a talent. Even me.
This week: I will not swear. I am not shitting you.
Monday Dare: Apocalypse a’comin’
This week: I will learn to cook.
Surely, this is a sign of the Apocalypse. Run, bitches, run.
Monday Dare: Erasers for everyone.
This week: Give thanks
Monday Dare: The Tim Kermitothoponolisis Story
This week: I have phobias. I will address one. Or five…or just one.
Monday Dare: A penny saved is a penny…say what?!
This week: I will revise Lizanomics and make it work.
Then petition a small country to adopt it.
Monday Dare: Obviously, I hate myself.
This week: I will utter nothing but the truth.
I do, however, reserve the right to remain silent.
Monday Dare: Just in case
This week: I will learn enough French to survive one week
in a predominately French-speaking place.
Monday Dare: Schoolyard Manners
This week: I will be nice to the
lovely moms at Cal’s school.
Monday Dare: Other People’s Stuff
This week: I will leave other people’s
junk valuable possessions alone.
Monday Dare: The Ten Second Rule
This week: I will count to ten before reacting.
Monday Dare: You’re worthless, but I still value you.
This week: I will use my pennies.
Monday Dare: I like you. I will wear new socks.
This week: I will stop saving my stuff.