Monday Dare: Drugs? Yes, please.

druglove
Every week, I challenge myself to a Monday Dare. Click on the click to see the complete list of Monday Dares or to learn more about its origin.

This week: Drugs. Take some.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard, “Holy smokes, I can’t believe you’re still alive, homegirl!” I would have a lot of money. Not Car Money but somewhere in the neighborhood of Name Brand Lip Gloss Money. This is not to say that I don’t appreciate the Disney Fairies Lip Gloss Compact that Cal gave me last year, but I get a little nervous every time I pull it out in public to touch up my pout. I can tell from some of the wayward glances I’ve been getting that it’s a hot ticket item. Thank god my purse has a secure zipper top.

The people who find my aliveness (word? not a word?) so noteworthy are folks I knew back in the day. My first instinct when I see these Party People From My Past is to run. Which I have done. If we happen to make eye contact, I try to be pleasant with a little smile or a gang sign and pray that they don’t come over for a chat. Which they do.

It surprises me that they recognize me at all. I look different. I am no longer that girl with the stringy, brittle hair and the acne brought on by not washing my face for three or four days in a row because I was too high to give a shit about a consistent exfoliate + cleanse + tone + moisturize routine. None of my clothes have cigarette burn holes. All of my shoes fit.

And I feel different. My intentions are not stitched together with ulterior motives. I no longer build friendships based on the quality of the eight ball of cocaine the other person has to offer. My feelings are no longer buried under a mound of cocaine, crack, speed, ecstasy, LSD, benzos, prescription pain killers, prescription cough syrup, or anything else I could grind up and snort, smoke, or chug.

But most of the people who only knew me when I was rooting around in the filth of my flimsy decisions will always see me as That Girl.

I don’t bother to explain to them that these days, That Girl rarely keeps alcohol in the house. And That Girl tries to act like a motherfucking hero by refusing Advil when she has a headache because she is afraid of becoming addicted. She has never heard of anyone becoming addicted to Advil, and she would like to keep it that way.

I don’t want to be That Girl. I am now This Woman.

As This Woman, I’m certain that I’ll still make the wrong choices sometimes, but it won’t be because I don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, including myself. I give lots of fucks about lots of fucking things.

I’ve shied away from putting anything into my body because of my addictive personality, but I don’t think that’s the right solution for me anymore. I’m okay with doing drugs again. Like, the legal kind from Costco. I trust myself.

And besides, the last I heard, my dealer got out of the hustle. I guess we both got tired of being That Girl.
____

P.S. Big ups to everyone for being so supportive of the new Flourish in Progress radio show! Podcasts of the first few episodes are now available. This one is my favorite so far because I share my best piece of life advice: Every time you go to a strip club, pretend it’s your first time. I guarantee you’ll get great service.

P.P.S. Most of the Baby Those Thug Lips lip balm in Buttercream and Peppermint from the Hood Goods store are gone, but there are a few left. People, these balms are the bomb. If you’d like to order one, check out the page and drop me a line.

Stay connected on the Flourish in Progress Facebook page or on Instagram (username: flourishinprogress) for lots of random shit. Some of it is funny. Some of it is just stupid and pointless. Wow, that was a really horrible sales pitch.

image via blueq.com

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  • http://shelaughsatthedays.net carrien-she laughs at the days

    My mom was afraid to take drugs too, the over the counter kind, because her dad was an alcoholic and she was afraid that she inherited his addictive personality.

    I think you should take the Advil. :)

  • Alice

    More power to you. Love your radio show. Your voice is nice.

  • Stephanie

    Glad you figured out the consistent exfoliate + cleanse + tone + moisturize routine. When you’re 50 you’ll be fab and the’ll be…shit.

  • Misty

    I can comment at work! I can comment at work! Holy shit, I can comment at work!!

    Ahem. Sorry about that. Lost myself in the moment there. Moving on . . .

    I was thinking about you earlier this morning (don’t know why, and no, I’m not stalking you . . . as far as you know), and thinking about all the crazy shit you had to go through and survive to get where you are. Which is a pretty excellent place. I think This Woman is amazing and rad and I am honored to call her a friend. Sometimes, we have to go through the fire and come out the other side to get to the good stuff. You, my dear, are squarely in the good stuff. Huzzah!!

    Psst, did I mention that my stupid work computer let me comment? It’s a good day, indeed. :)

  • Laurie

    This may be the greatest thing I’ve ever read. I love who you were because it made you who you are.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lafiammatabella Maria Irene Q

    So much this. I’m in my 30’s now, we won’t discuss how far, and yeah I had a good time partying and drugging and drinking and doing all sorts of foolish shit in my teens and early 20s. Moving back to the city where I did all of that I run into people to whom I am still That Girl. Sometimes I feel bad about it. Other times I take it as a way of measuring how hard I’ve worked to move away from all of that and become the woman I am now.

    Congrats to you for pulling yourself out of all that and becoming the fantabulous woman who’s blog I highly enjoy reading.

  • http://yougotsars.com you gotsars!

    Everytime I read yor blog I gain more respect for you. You are amazeballs and I feel honored that I may someday get to make you dinner ;)

  • David H

    You miss, are quite awesome.
    [IMG]http://i1283.photobucket.com/albums/a545/SirCoolness/DigIt1_zpsdc96aee8.jpg[/IMG]

  • Emelie Samuelson

    Wow. I didn’t realize I could admire you anymore. Not because you were That Girl, but because you’re now This Woman, and that you wouldn’t be This Woman if you hadn’t been That Girl.. It all gets kind of confusing, but the point is that you’re awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=759189628 Karin Antal

    Lots of love, Elizabeth!

  • http://www.defensesoap.com/ Natalie

    Really awesome tips those are easily doable at home . I have always preferred a good body lotion or an antibacterial body bath soap for the same. I really liked to read the article.

  • Roller Scrapper

    I just wanted to say, good for you for becoming “This Woman”
    I’m glad to know you!

  • Detour

    I used to be “That Girl” too. I loved reading this because it so perfectly described my “Old Life”. I love being “This Woman” not to mention all the money I seem to have these days…Thanks for keepin’ it REAL!

  • mommyonthespot

    “That Girl” and “This Woman” – love! Even though my struggles have been different than yours, this evolution from girl to woman, coming into my own and learning to own my space – i totally get.

    Great post!

  • lex

    Just found your blog and I flipping love it! You’re my new best friend in my head…which sounds creepy. Fuck. But I totes promise I’m not a creep, just a girl who spends too much time on the internet and eating PopChips in my bed.