This week: Stop thinking so much.
Some people have friends that live next door. Other people have friends that live in the same city. Me? I have two best friends that live so goddamn far away that every time I want to see them, it’s a real commitment because I have to cross state lines to do so. On every trip, I say a silent thanks to a higher power that I’m not on parole, because I’d hate to clear all of my moves with a parole officer. I’m sorry if you’re a parole officer and I just offended you. Also, you might want to email me your info in case I ever get in trouble with the law because I’m going to campaign for you to be my P.O. I mean, if that’s even a possibility. Do criminals get a say in who gets to be the boss of them?
These trips used to be planned affairs. We would email back and forth for weeks, discussing the best airfare deals and new restaurant reviews. Each trip was a Big Deal. Now, it’s more of a Hey, I just realized I’m free for the next two days, so I’ll just hop in my car and drive 4.5 hours to see you situation.
These long car trips allow me to do something I’m unable to do in my daily life- I can shut my brain off from all of the noisy chatter that goes through my head, and I can enjoy the moment. Even when the Chrysler Sebring in front of me is so excruciating slow, I just want to cut a bitch. Even when I’m 47 miles away from the nearest rest stop and my bladder is screaming at me to find a bush.
This comes as a surprise to me because sitting in a car for over four hours at a time doing nothing but driving and listening to an extensive collection of dubstep and gangsta rap might seem like the perfect time to mull over every major life decision or mistake or fear, but I’ve made the conscious choice to stop fretting and just breathe.
For a long time, I let fear rule my life. I was afraid of doing things wrong. I was afraid of looking uncool. I was afraid to love or put myself out there because I didn’t want to get hurt and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I obsess about all of these things as soon as I open my eyes, and they are often the last thoughts on my mind as my head hits the pillow.
But on these drives, as I look out the window with the music on full blast, I can let go. I often wave to little kids who are jumping around the back seat and are probably annoying the hell out of their parents. Sometimes, I’ll stop by the Del Taco in Barstow and get a snack. I also pat myself on the back occasionally for evading a life of crime and not being on parole so that I have the freedom to make these spontaneous trips.
Hey, it’s good to celebrate the positives.
How do you unwind?