My mom doesn’t think you’re smart

Is a relationship on the brink of doom when the other party says, “Don’t waste my daytime minutes?”
Me thinks yes.

I found a box of old boyfriend trinkets in my mom’s garage last weekend. I’ve been sorting through the box all week. It’s been a little trip down Memory Hell Lane.

I found a mix CD, circa 2001, from my “Don’t waste my daytime minutes” boyfriend. Just a few gems from it:

  • Never Let You Go- Third Eye Blind
  • Thief- Our Lady Peace
  • Loser- 3 Doors Down
  • Check Your Head- Buckcherry
  • Come on Over- Christina Aguilera

Looking at the list of songs, I feel like this boy was sending some mixed messages. Who’s the Thief? Should I Check Your Head? Why would I Come on Over if you think you could be a Loser?

Along with the mix CD, I found three stuffed animals, a Winnie the Pooh snow globe, and a pair of earrings from an old flame in high school.

I didn’t get my ears pierced till I was 24.

I re-read old letters in the box. My favorite lines:

  • I still like you, even if my mom doesn’t think you’re very smart.
  • Why did you get your hair cut so short? You used to be pretty.
  • In my dreams, I keep on calling you Candy. Candy was my old girlfriend, but I like you more.
  • When my mom and dad fight, it makes me want to break up with you because if I stay with you, maybe you want to get married, and I ain’t getting married.
  • You remind me a lot of my sister. She’s a bitch.

I hope my daughter doesn’t inherit my man-picking skills.

Do you save old relationship trinkets? What have you kept? 
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