Monday Dare: now accepting applications

Every Monday, I’m picking from the List of Things to Do, Places to Go, Possible Acts that Help and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I started before The Project, and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list my Monday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”

This week: Expand the family.

To this day, my family denies the existence of my older sister. It’s maddening.

I saw Joanna for the first and last time while I was in Kindergarten. Luckily, we went to the same school, so I saw her every day at lunch. Unluckily, she was never too thrilled when I brought my Kindergarten buddies to sit at her table. I didn’t mind that she minded. ¬†Fifth graders had a certain cool factor they needed to maintain. I understood.

I loved that my sister and I looked so similar. We had the same hair color and our eyes were the exact same shade of brown. We laughed exactly the same way- head tilted and always with a little snort at the end.

When I brought up Joanna’s name at the dinner table, my parents denied everything. Then, when I pointed Joanna out to my mom after school one day, her face got a hard look, and I knew that she knew that I knew.

I got a little bolder. I started asking my parents if Joanna could come live with us, even if it was part-time. I desperately wanted to free her from her fake parents. After the third night of incessant petitioning, my dad lost his shit,

“Jesus, she’s NOT your sister. She’s MEXICAN!”

Mexican? What’s Mexican?

My parents tried to explain ethnicity. They brought a globe to the table and pointed out Mexico and then rotated it around (slowly, for effect) and showed me South Korea. They asked if I had noticed the difference in skin color.

Duh, her captors probably took her to a deserted island after they kidnapped her. A deserted sunny island. She couldn’t help having a tan. Holy smokes, my parents were in denial.

Sadly, Joanna moved away soon after. I think my parents had something to do with it. They denied it, of course. Of course.

I’m now accepting applications for a new sister.
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Did you ever believe anything as a kid that made your parents think you were nuts?
picture via okboysngirls shop @ etsy.com

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