the truth week in review: a preview

Enemy Friendly Mom (more on this special woman here): My daughter has the EXACT same boots you’re wearing. It’s kind of a hoot that you’re wearing the same shoes as a ten-year-old, don’t you think?

Me: Not really. But it’s kind of a hoot that you’re such a bitch.

I know, I know, I’m fucking fabulous.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16107214079237461141 areyoukiddingme

    Really? What’s wrong with that woman?

    Although I might suggest that a better response would have been: “You’re dressing your child like an adult woman? What’s next? Hooker shoes and halter mini-dresses?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07042882766087358457 Prima Mama

    Rock on! Great retort. That made me smile.

    This reminds me of when I ran a video store some years ago, and I had this older goth customer who was just as sweet as can be, nicest lady you’d want to meet, right? One day, she came through my line and behind her was your very preppy, stereotypical soccer mom. So Goth lady leaves, and soccer mom says “It’s people that like her who scare children.” So I said, “But it’s people who look like you that molest them.”

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07042882766087358457 Prima Mama

    **Correction, soccer mom said “It’s people that look like her who scare children.” Really, I need an editor. It’s a shame I have a degree in English. They should revoke it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14258891696397242203 Staci

    Whatev! I can wear a girls size 3 and a boys 2.5) I’ve had the same boots as one of the kindergarteners in the building. We held hands and danced and proclaimed that we were twins. The kid wasn’t even in my class. I’m going to go with you have dainty feet and that “lady” has waterski feet.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05134348512629558645 Amanda

    Congrats on finally speaking your mind to that woman! Sounds like she needed it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11371713800889286955 RollerScrapper

    You are my hero…I would have glared at her and thought about that about 20 minutes later…and I love kids shoes and want the ones that light up but I had to settle for some hello kitty rain boots, since that *kind* of seems like I’m being awesome and hip and not 5 and a half….

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09354382649584069679 Kymberly Foster Seabolt

    Beyotch.

    I’m wearing my 11 yos “Justice” Ugg-knock-offs with the big a#$ “Peace” in glitter on the front.

    Because I’m so cool (and at home).

    If anyone dared to say anything I’d kick her with my fuzzy peace boots – I would.

    Couldn’t you just see it? “Well Ma’am, the bruising isn’t too bad but you appear to have rhinestone abrasions and a peace sign embedded on your a@#.”

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15864229531085152218 Julie

    Gah. Nice response though! Reminds me of the time when I was 17 and at a beach in Florida wearing a relatively modest bikini (is there such a thing?) and some a-hole dad-type asked me how old I was. Well, “asked” as in “shouted from his blanket 10 feet away from me and my parents”. Being raised to be polite I answered him and he scoffed and yelled back that his 12 year old filled out her bikini better than I did. (True. His 12 year old was nearby and was indeed falling out of her itty bitty strings-with-bandaids nightmare)

    The number of things wrong with that incident is astronomical; but mostly I regret not having a good comeback. I never have a good comeback when I need it. Yay for you!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00986231358585797741 Elizabeth – Flourish in Progress

    areyoukiddingme- damn. that is an awesome response. i doubt she and i will be speaking again, but i really need to use that line, so maybe i’ll strike up a convo. ha.

    prima- how did she respond?!?!? you know she went home and drowned herself in pinot that night…!

    staci- *gasp* me too! i wear a 2.5-3 in girls and i think it’s great to buy shoes for less in the kids section. i love the stories about your kids at school. like i said…you’ve got the patience of a saint

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00986231358585797741 Elizabeth – Flourish in Progress

    amanda- thanks! yeah, she needed that and probably a slap, too, but you know, i’m way too classy for that. =)

    rollerscrapper- that’s usually me…20 minutes later, i’ve got an awesome line and no one to say it to. rock those boots.

    kymberly- AHAHAHA! My first inclination was really to do the same thing, but I was wearing flip flops and I just knew it wouldn’t have the effect I needed.

    Julie- *shudder* that’s really gross. i can’t think of anything to say because that’s just too disturbing.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06432397460041356445 Jennifer Clark

    Jeez, Elizabeth! Sound like your life is an episode of “The Gilmore Girls”. Which is great fun to watch, but I wouldn’t want to live it….. All the mums (and dads, and grandmas) here in Mayberry are just the nicest people. Perhaps you are getting tired of city life?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07042882766087358457 Prima Mama

    Oh,that lady just stiffened up, pursed her lips, and never spoke another word to me…not that I minded…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07969357513275063157 Amy

    Seriously?? Did you really? You are my hero.

  • http://ohnoa.com/ ohnoa.com

    WAY TO GO, HO.

    Then follow that up next time with a drink-splash to the face, and you’re golden.

  • Suzanne

    Glas to hear you confronted this dreadful woman. Of course, she will probably be spreading nasty rumors about you. THAT is the way THOSE people are.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00986231358585797741 Elizabeth – Flourish in Progress

    Jennifer- Let’s trade for a week. I need a break!

    Prima- Guess who she was talking about in the schoolyard the next day?=)

    Amy- Yes, seriously. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face for hours. It’s probably because I’m extremely mature. An extremely mature HERO.

    Noa- thanks, bitch!

    Suzanne- Bring it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17210832629299621129 TheBabyMammaChronicles

    OK, I take back my previous statement, honesty is always better! You are fucking fabulous darling! I wish I could have seen the look on her face when you said that!

  • Kristyn Potter

    Liz you’re my hero!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17495892819235406438 PearlsAndGreenTea

    Haha..that’s awesome! What was her reaction?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00986231358585797741 Elizabeth – Flourish in Progress

    Babymamma & Pearls- she actually had very little reaction. It may be because I did not stick around. Ha! I’m a fabulous coward.

    Kristyn- i heart you. vegas, anytime. just give me 24 hours notice.

  • JoanE

    Great post! I was once in a social circle with a woman like that, who decided to pick on poor little me. I’ll call her B. One day folks from our group went to a swimming hole. I arrived first with a male friend, (not boyfriend – he might have been gay), after our swim we were lying on the rocks sunning, naked. B arrived with her boyfriend, took one look at us, slipped on the moss and screamed! Being naked, we couldn’t come running to see how she was, but called over to see if she was alright. She was fine, and we resumed sun-bathing. Many years later, I have the guilty pleasure of enjoying my memory of that little scene.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00986231358585797741 Elizabeth – Flourish in Progress

    JoanE- HAHA! I can picture this in my head and I am just replacing that lady’s face with frenemy’s face and it gives me great satisfaction. Yep, I’m a bitch.