This week: I will be nice to the
This really happened last week. I swear.
Enemy Friendly Mom: Are you wearing free eyeshadow?
Me: No, um, I paid for this eyeshadow. (Yeah, that’ll show her. Give it to her good.)
Enemy Friendly Mom: It’s so nice that you’re trying these days.
Me: Thanks. (Whoa, easy there, Elizabeth. Put those claws back in.)
Enemy Friendly Mom (walking away): Gosh, it’s always so nice talking to you.
Friends, what does free eyeshadow look like? What are the telltale signs?
Sure, I could be angry, but a bigger part of me wonders what causes this bad behavior. I start to speculate. Is she going through menopause? Is she bitter because her old-fashioned husband won’t let her wear thongs? I mean, why else would she have visible panty lines all the time? Is her coke dealer out of town?
All this speculation brings up a lot of questions. My only answer? Be nice, you classy bitch, be nice.
photo via Blue Q