Monday Dare: Schoolyard Manners

Every Monday, I’m picking from the list of Things to Try, Places to Go, Possible Acts that Help and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I made before The Project started and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please, feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list my Monday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”

This week: I will be nice to the 
passive-aggressive, turn-on-a-dime tricks  lovely moms at Cal’s school. 

This really happened last week. I swear.

Enemy Friendly Mom: Are you wearing free eyeshadow?

Me: No, um, I paid for this eyeshadow. (Yeah, that’ll show her. Give it to her good.)

Enemy Friendly Mom: It’s so nice that you’re trying these days.

Me: Thanks. (Whoa, easy there, Elizabeth. Put those claws back in.)

Enemy Friendly Mom (walking away): Gosh, it’s always so nice talking to you.

Friends, what does free eyeshadow look like? What are the telltale signs?

Sure, I could be angry, but a bigger part of me wonders what causes this bad behavior. I start to speculate. Is she going through menopause? Is she bitter because her old-fashioned husband won’t let her wear thongs? I mean, why else would she have visible panty lines all the time? Is her coke dealer out of town?

All this speculation brings up a lot of questions. My only answer? Be nice, you classy bitch, be nice.

photo via Blue Q

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