Monday Dare: other people’s stuff

Every Monday, I’m picking from the List of Things to Try, Places to Go, Possible Acts that Help and Possible Fun to Have. It’s a list I made before The Project started and I’m still adding to it. If you have suggestions, please, feel free to throw them my way. I’m calling the list my Monday Dares, as I get overwhelmed just looking at the words “challenge” or “goal.”

This week: I will leave other people’s junk valuable possessions alone.

By other people, I mean my family.

By alone, I mean I will no longer throw away anything when they are not at home.

I will practice honesty and integrity with my family.

By honesty and integrity, I mean I will now wait until they get home and badger the life out of them until they either donate or throw away the offending item.

Are hole-y socks more comfortable?

Is underwear with crispy elastic easier to wear? What’s crispy elastic? Please don’t feign ignorance. You’ve never held on to a pair of socks or ratty underwear so long that the rubber loses all malleability and when you stretch it, it makes an actual creaking noise and then it just stayed stretched?

I don’t want to single anyone out, but someone I live with in my home, who is not a 10-year-old girl and to whom I share a marriage bed, owns a pair of charcoal gray slacks that are so worn, the dry cleaner calls every time we drop them off to verify that we do, indeed, want them cleaned.

I will no longer stuff the slacks in the bottom of our give-away bag and pretend not to know anything when  this someone asks where they are with a little glint of suspicion in his eyes.

I will no longer throw away my family’s hole-y socks with the crispy elastic, only to be met with complaints and accusations that my biggest satisfaction in life is to throw their stuff away. They will learn on their own how uncomfortable it is to wrestle a sock that falls just a centimeter with each step, eventually bunching up inside the shoe, causing the wearer to stop, pull the sock up and repeat the process 87 seconds later.

When they come to their senses, I’ll be waiting on my pedestal where I should have been all along…with a garbage bag in my hand.

photo via jcrew.com

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17210832629299621129 TheBabyMammaChronicles

    Very funny :) I love it and your project! What a fabulous idea! Thank you so much for your comment and for visiting my blog!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16488483947168168144 Annah

    Oh this is awesome. I thought I was the only one that sneakily threw away other people’s stuff.

    Lovely.

  • Harv

    Just a minute. I think I get it now. Are you talking about me?! I like those pants.

    I suggest that you extend this Monday Dare to a Year Dare. Because if I “accidentally” throw away your clothes, you won’t be able to replace them for another 11 months!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17495892819235406438 PearlsAndGreenTea

    crispy underwear! Hilarious!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07260217733332249686 Elaine

    Hi there,
    Your project ties in nicely with mine:) Love your blog:)
    Elaine.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03887321264194328711 Addy

    I’ve owned a few pantyhose with crispy waistband … with holes that expose my big toe :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02884115593836844503 Mikeal

    This is how valuable baseball cards and priceless works of art get thrown away and then later found in thrift stores.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06432397460041356445 Jennifer Clark

    Ha! I shamelessly throw away revolting socks, belonging to the 12 year-old boy who wore them 5 days in a row. And ratty teeshirts belonging to one of the twin 5 year-old girls who have grown so much since the beginning of summer their belly shows. Threadbare undies ALWAYS get the heave-ho. Nobody at my house complains.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15489735688664417057 Rachel

    Too funny! I’m taking some of your tips…I’m slowly unsubscribing to as many of my shopping emails as possible…..I got rid of 4 today!!! But couldn’t quite bear to stop Anthropologie yet…..baby steps :)